Smokersbench

Pro Smoking
Sound Advice on the Advantages of Smoking Tobacco

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You will always have something to do with your hands.
To avoid headaches later in the day, always have a cigarette first thing in the morning.
If you work with explosives, you have a handy method of lighting the fuse.
Smoking is a good career move if you want early retirement and would like to use up your sick leave.
On New Years Eve you don’t have to go out to the fireworks. Just dip your cigarette into a jar of ground up sparklers.
Amuse your friends and be the life of the party by blowing smoke rings.
Always discard your butts in flower pots and garden beds as it helps fertilise the plants and keeps insects away.
Occasional house fires will help keep firemen employed.
By buying cigarettes from corner stores, you help support local businesses and help retain the fabric of our society.
At the beach, children can use the butts to decorate their sand castles.
Annoy neighbours you don’t like by staying home and smoking heavily.
You will always have a good reason for loitering – “Officer, I’m just having a cigarette”.
Always smoke when you are pregnant. Your smoking helps the unborn baby prepare for the air pollution in the real world.
When your neighbour’s kids are too noisy, trigger their asthma by breathing smoke on them.
By smoking heavily, you get out of boring work and will have plenty of short breaks during the day.
Develop your cool image and fun-loving personality by being a smoker. Non smoking is for wimps and wusses.
You will have a good reason to paint the ceilings every three years.
Why celebrate world no-tobacco day once a year, when every day can be celebrated as a pro-tobacco day.
You will know when it’s time to throw out your old lounge suite by the number of burn marks.
Smoking is an adult custom. Add years to how old you look by smoking heavily.
If you run out of smokes late at night, help the taxi industry by getting them to deliver your smokes to the door.
You can demand more services and benefits from the government because you have paid more in taxes.
Help keep the bush fire brigades trained and ready for any emergency by throwing lighted butts from your car window.
Keep your weight down by smoking cigarettes instead of eating them.

FROM http://www.nsma.org.au/prosmoke.htm

I am guilty of this as well as a lot of smokers around here. There is something about that bench that lets you feel like you can say what you want. There isn’t a day that goes by without someone venting about something that is going on in their life or someone they know. I think it is relaxing and a way to get some of my thoughts off of my chest. What are your thoughts?

Nietzsche has influenced greatly the tangling cloud of mysterious thoughts that randomly creep up and burst into thunderstorms in my head. The complexity of one’s morality and beliefs has always posed an intriguing hanging question mark in my head. The side effect to meshed conversations with the aim of equalizing thoughts by two people is the disparity and space they feel when they realize that they are not equal.

So yeah, like we always strive to protect that principle of understanding each other’s feelings and thoughts but conversations in my experience often end up with discomfort and confusion when two people come from totally different backgrounds or cultures.

Next time I try to present my ideas to someone I will tell them that the statement “We agree to disagree” is actually not that threatening towards differing standpoints after all. Why? Because in the ever-lasting attempt for me to try to understand and convert those thoughts in my low-byte, slow-processing brain ends up jacking my hard drive and losing my configuration.

Nietzsche has made me realize that definitions of good and bad should not even exist and I totally agree with him. Why bother with classification and referral? So my goal is to defeat those barriers of entry into the ceaseless world of rules and look at the deeper significance of life

And smoking helps me a lot in that J

When you ask your friend “Do you know what the distance to the moon is ?”, s/he might say “I dont know”. I am telling you, your friend is lying. Allow me to prove it. Complement your friend’s response by saying: “It’s a 100 miles”. Your friend will most likely say: “That’s not right”. Good they fell for it. Tell them they already forfeited their right to correct you when they said they didnt know.

So the next time someone asks you something like “Do you know how to build a small boat”, say “I dont know exactly.”

Its a joke! Get it?

Books are good.

And so are cigarettes.

…or so I hear.

For no apparent reason,

I’ve always thought of books and cigarettes like

peanut butter and jelly

coffee and cream

or..
Bonnie and Clyde.

…if you will.

Sure one can be without the other

but they work for the best when together.

Since, as a non-smoker, I have no way of experiencing that pleasure myself

I was hoping I could get smokers’ first hand insight on it.

And possibly on which books go better with cigarettes than others.

If weather or coffee can enhance your reading experience,

wouldn’t you say it’s only natural cigarettes do, too?

…or so I imagine.

How many times has someone asked you “Why dont you quit ? Its going to kill you !”

And what was your reply ?